What Does It Mean to be Mexican American, Latina, or Hispanica?

Not so undercover Mexican girl.

Recently, I've been inundated by films, stories, songs, panels, blogs, Q&A's, discussions, presentations, conversations and drunken ramblings about what it means to be a "Latina" (this is the most generally accepted self-referent label lately).  I've come close to relating to others' definitions, but never quite exactly. So here's my own take:

• born in Los Angeles to parents from Mexico - one who spent all his life in Aguascalientes until moving to Southern California in his mid-20s and another who grew up in Chicago until moving to Aguascalientes in her early teens (and then also moving to S. CA in her mid-20s, with aforementioned parent shortly after getting married)
• moving back to Mexico with my family at the age of 3 and first learning to read and write in Spanish
• returning to the United States at the age 5 because the Mexican banks nationalized the peso, wiping out my parents' savings in U.S. dollars
• going to summer school, being terrified of the English language, macaroni and cheese, and canned green beans
• starting the 1st grade in further terror of the English language, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and milk that came in cartons instead of jars
• learning English and all my other school subjects so quickly that I skipped 2nd grade
• spending every single, entire summer through the 8th grade in Aguascalientes
• moving back to Mexico (without my parents to go live with my aunt and uncle) at the age of 10 partly because I was traumatized by earthquakes, but also because I loved Timbiriche and Flans and didn't understand the appeal of Madonna or New Kids on the Block, and also because I preferred writing in my diary in Spanish
• never really identifying with my 1st-8th grade classmates (majority Mexican American) and therefore deciding for the 9th grade to go to a boarding school in Claremont, California, where the majority were either of Asian heritage, culturally (but not religiously) Jewish, or just plain Anglo, and my best friends were a half Chinese-half Indian girl and a Sri Lankan girl who grew up in Hong Kong and had a British accent
• from about the age of 8 until I was about 15, generally being embarrassed when my parents spoke Spanish to me in public
• from about the age of 15 onward, being accused my mother of being "candil de la calle, oscuridad en la casa", wondering if developing strong bonds to my non-Mexican friends, including my first boyfriend who happened to be Jewish (culturally, but not religiously), meant that I was perhaps a traitor to my own culture
• transferring to a Mexican-majority, Catholic high school near my parents' house for 11th and 12th grade, often being accused (in friendly fun) by my friends for being so "white" - although I spoke, read, and wrote Spanish much more fluently, and had spent more time in Mexico, than many of them
• never falling in love with a Mexican boy (or man), unless you count the boy named Oscar who I only knew for an afternoon at my grandmother's friend's dairy ranch (just outside of Aguascalientes) as part of a dozen or so children with whom I played tag - I admired him for his cunning speed and light-colored eyes
• since my early 20s, being so confused at what to call myself, that I eventually invented my own label (Undercover Mexican Girl), especially because so many people in Austin, Texas would tell me that I didn't look or act "Mexican"
• at the age of 34, still not sure what it means to be Latina, Mexican American, Hispanic, Hispana, Hispanica, American with Mexican ancestry, Cholula, Tapatia, Sarape, or whatever - I guess I'll just have to keep exploring!

Honk, Honk, Tweet, Tweet

Reposted from Engadget.com

The other day, I was woken up shortly after 5:00 AM by the sound of honking from next door.  Without consulting Wikipedia or Merriam-Webster for the definition of stereotype, I pose the question: are stereotypes completely false and racist, or are they are an exaggeration of the truth?  Or are are they simply a coincidental overlap between an actual reality and a presumption?

For example, that morning when I was woken up by honking, my first thought was, "It must be the Mexicans next door." I had two reasons to believe this: 1) they've done it before and 2) no other neighbor on the street has engaged in this behavior. In fact, the only people in my lifetime that I have ever known to honk from the street while the car is still running, rather than get out of the car and knock on the door, are Mexicans.  (I've seen non-Mexicans do this in the movies, but that doesn't count.)

Is it a stereotype to say Mexicans honk to get someone to come out of the house?  I'm Mexican, and I don't do it. But the only people I've ever known to do it are Mexicans.  In that case, maybe you could say, "Mexicans like to honk instead of ringing the doorbell. But not all Mexicans do this."  What's your experience with this annoying habit?

Ten minutes later, after persistent honking, I was wide awake and had no hope of falling back asleep to wake up to my alarm set for 7:30 AM.  So I lay there, eyes wide open in the dark, watching the sun rise and listening to the birds sing.  I started to hear the variations in the singing.  Some went chirp-chirp, others coo-coo, others tweet-tweet, and some even went pio-pio, the way they do in Spanish.

I wish I could have identified the types of birds by their singing.  Do birds in Spain and Latin America say "pio-pio" because that kind of bird was the first one heard by a Spanish-speaker?  Should Twitter in Spanish be "Piotear"?

p.s. if you're still wondering about honking, Ask A Mexican (aka Gustavo Arellano) gives a good answer:
http://www.ocweekly.com/2005-10-13/columns/ask-a-mexican/

Blogueras. That's Spanish for Latina Bloggers.

I am too tired to even think right now.  It's been an exciting latter half of the week.  Attended the 2nd Annual Hispanicize conference in Los Angeles. Met many wonderful people, including several women who are part of Las Blogueras and Blogs by Latinas who have inspired me to keep writing on my blog. 

This post is short, but I hope it is the beginning of many more to come on a more regular basis.